One of those days!
17:13:00
Today is definitely one of those ugly days! You know the days you just feel bleughhh and everything goes wrong? Well that's been today!
I officially hate Monday's; my Monday module is horrible and I'm wishing now I'd never selected to do it. I really feel like I'm drowning in information, none of it feels of any relevance to me or what I want to do in my career.
We were given details of an assessment that is going to happen in 3 weeks time and it just made my my stomach flip. I get really anxious at times and when I get given information about exams or assessments it just makes me feel awful. On top of this I'm beginning to feel like I'm falling behind on my dissertation, my primary research is practically nil and void and I'm supposed to be presenting on it in 3 weeks time. I really do feel so overwhelmed now it's horrible.
To make matters worse today, I finished uni and went to meet Mark and the kids as they are all on holiday today (Mark is a teacher). When I got into the car you could literally cut the tension with a knife. It turned out Cerys and Mark had been arguing due to this new "attitude" she has suddenly developed, you know the one where every look is like you've just spoken to her in Russian?! Me being mum tried to resolve the situation but as usual it just made matters worse which resulted in another massive argument between all of us! It's typical family life I suppose but just not what I needed when I was feeling the way I did this morning.
To make matters worse today, I finished uni and went to meet Mark and the kids as they are all on holiday today (Mark is a teacher). When I got into the car you could literally cut the tension with a knife. It turned out Cerys and Mark had been arguing due to this new "attitude" she has suddenly developed, you know the one where every look is like you've just spoken to her in Russian?! Me being mum tried to resolve the situation but as usual it just made matters worse which resulted in another massive argument between all of us! It's typical family life I suppose but just not what I needed when I was feeling the way I did this morning.
We had to go to IKEA for a few bits and bobs and Isla-Rose preceded to scream her head off and demand to get out of the trolley for the full time we were there. On the one occasion I did allow her out the trolley she decided to try and pull a lamp over and was almost knocked down by at least 10 trolleys! I started getting those looks from people (you know the look you get from people who don't have children or forget what its like to have a baby) so I had to put her kicking and screaming back into the trolley. Needless to say I had the sweats and a pounding headache after this trip!
Isla-Rose has decided to carry her temper tantrum on throughout the day, hence the picture. This can be so draining at times and makes me want to either burst into tears or bang my head against a wall. It's these kind of things which can make being a student even harder as I am finding it so hard to concentrate on my work with all this going on. Before, I would have normally went out a run or exercised to try and relax myself but now I just simply don't have time (another reason why I am feeling so bleughhh these days)!
Me and my friends joke at times that we wish we had our own private island to jet off to for the time we are at uni for some peace and quiet and no distractions. Today is definitely one of those days that I wish this was the case!
Emma xxxx
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