Reflecting on my Journey so Far
18:43:00
In typical Scotland style the rain is pouring down from the heavens today, I honestly don't think I've seen so much rain through the winter than this year, it really has been miserable. On days like this we're normally stuck indoors and I can often find myself reflecting on life. Today I have been thinking about my journey through university and the roller coaster it has been.
It really has been a crazy 3 and a half years so far. Even although I had only just turned 26 when I started, I remember being so anxious as I thought everyone else on my course would be really young and straight out of school and I wouldn't have anything in common with them. I was totally wrong though, the first day I remember telling my now very good friend, that I was 26 and was a mum and she couldn't believe it, she thought I was only 19! This made me smile and still does today. Although I have met many people throughout these years, I have a very close bond with two very special girls, Jasmen and Karen.
These girls have literally been my rock since day one and I honestly couldn't have got through a lot of my time at uni if it wasn't for them! I never in a thousand years thought I would develop such a close bond with anyone while studying, they are definitely friends for a lifetime!
My uni journey has been full of highs and lows, I remember getting my very first set of grades back after my exams and being absolutely over the moon when I found out I had got 3 A's. I honestly never thought that possible! I've been so so lucky to have had these same grades throughout my whole time at uni and remain a straight A student, although must say I have worked bloody hard for it! This can also have it's downside though. With me setting the bar so high from day 1, I've felt that I've had to keep that momentum going, putting myself under a LOT of pressure at times. My friends and family have told me that I don't need to constantly chase these marks, as in the end we all still come out with the same degree but I think it must be the drive and determination in me to prove I can do it. At the end of first year I won an award due to my marks and this was such a great achievement for me, going from having no confidence to this was such a boost for me. There have been many times I have felt like giving up though. In 2013 I suffered a miscarriage and moved house in the space of 6 months. And while the latter should and was a positive experience, the stress it put me under whilst studying and working was unreal. My emotions have been up and down ever since then and of course I then fell pregnant in early 2014. This was the most joyous news we could have received as myself and Mark were so desperate to give Cerys a wee brother or sister, but the first 12 weeks I was very severely nauseas and sick which affected my concentration during lectures and study time. I didn't think I'd ever get through my exams in May 2014 as my hormones were everywhere but somehow I managed it.
Ofcourse I then had my little Isla-Rose in October 2014. The feeling of leaving her after just two weeks to get back to uni was horrendous and broke my heart but I quickly realised that in order to succeed and do the best for my family, I had to do this! Isla-Rose has had her fair share of illnesses last year which has had an affect on my uni work and attendance at times but the support I have received is second to none and when at times I have felt guilty for not being at uni, my friends have quickly picked me back up.
Although my friends have also not been without their fair share of grief, stress and worries, we seem to have worked as a perfect wee group and our friendship has grown, supporting one another if need be and being able to have a rant when we've been having a bad day. If I can take at least one thing from this experience then it will be the fact that I now have two more very special people in my life. Thanks girls!
Emma xxxx
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