It's Pressure Time
17:07:00
It's at this time of year that I normally begin to feel the pressure rise slightly in terms of my uni work. I'm just about to enter week 4 of my final term and it's from here on in that the work normally begins to get really tough and time begins to be my worst enemy.
Weeks 1 - 3 are normally more laid back (even although they shouldn't be) and then week 4 hits and suddenly it's panic stations!
Today I've been working on my dissertation for around 7 hours, holed up in my bedroom as it's the quietest room in the house. I haven't showered, I'm sitting in my PJs, I've had a packet of crisps and twix for my lunch and I'm typing my life away like there's no tomorrow - a massive amount of krap I might add! These are the days I get really annoyed and frustrated if I get disturbed, hence the reason for not showering or making a meal! When I'm in this room, I normally keep a good train of thought and get really mad if I get interrupted with anything.
Mark's been doing some DIY in Cerys' room today and my wee superstar Cerys has been entertaining Isla-Rose for me all day. I honestly couldn't do half my work without her, she really is like a second mummy to Isla-Rose. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing, but she seems to really enjoy it and the girls have such a close bond, it really is lovely to see.
I need to make these small sacrifices at weekends at the moment just until I get my work completed. I need to shut myself away in order to not be disturbed. I hate doing it but I know it won't last forever.
I think Mark gets a bit peed off about it at times, like today, once he'd finished his DIY he was asking when I'd be finished and looked disappointed when I couldn't give him a time. I told him to take the girls out if he wanted some time out of the house but unfortunately I was unable to go. I'm aware it's rubbish and it really does suck when I can't join in on family time but this is all for the greater good and it just adds more pressure on to me when I see Mark get annoyed.
I know it can be an additional stress on the family just now and that can make me feel awful and guilty at times but then, at the same time I think "No!" The only reason I've put myself under this stress the past few years is for my family, so that I can provide them with a good life and we can live comfortably, an environment I never really had growing up.
8 weeks tomorrow will be my final week at uni, I honestly cannot believe it. I just need to knuckle down and get through these last 2 months and all will be OK!
Emma xxxx
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