What a week it has been! Unfortunately for the last week I have been very ill, yet again. It honestly couldn't be worse at this time of my studies.

I began feeling very ill last Thursday and it just escalated from then and I unfortunately had to take another trip on Easter Sunday to hospital where I was diagnosed with yet another viral infection. I've had ulcers covering my mouth and throat and I've been unable to eat or drink for a few days. This was making me feel so sick, weak and lethargic.

The doctor has told me that I am putting myself under too much stress and I need to start looking after myself a bit better as my body is beginning to burn out because I'm trying to do too much at once, i.e be a final year student, be a mum and work! How is it possible to slow down though? In order for me to get my degree (which my job offer is relying on I might add) then I have to work on my dissertation and coursework! 

Over this Easter holiday I had planned to cram in a lot of work for my dissertation, but that just wasn't possible due to my illness. I was literally in bed for 5 days. This has made me so emotional and I think I've cried every day due to the stress I now feel under as I'm way behind in my work with only 3 weeks until the hand in date. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do! That taking it easy I'm supposed to do? Not going to happen! 

From a mother's point of view, this illness left me feeling so guilty as I felt that I ruined everyone's Easter and felt terrible for Cerys and Isla-Rose. Cerys was desperate for an Easter Egg hunt on Easter morning (which I almost forgot to do), so I had to try and sort out a quick hunt for her. I felt awful though and really felt it was such a half-hearted effort from myself. Cerys was up at 7am the next Morning to start her hunt and I couldn't even lift my head off the pillow. I literally had to drag myself out of bed and normally I would be filming and taking loads of pictures of the girls but I honestly couldn't find the energy to do anything. I felt so guilty and like a terrible mum that I couldn't put any effort into it.

My wee mini Easter Bunny

I also felt really bad for Mark, he was running around like a headless chicken looking after the girls and looking after me. I really felt like I'd ruined his Easter also. They managed to visit the family on Easter and going by the pictures had lots of fun, while I was stuck in bed, so that made me feel slightly better for them.

Cerys seemed to be having fun on Easter night anyway! Haha!

On Monday, Cerys also had her dancing exams which I wasn't able to attend. This just made me feel even more awful (I'm certainly not going to get the mum of the year award this year!). I had to rely on Mark and the other Mum's at the dancing to help her out, who were all amazing but I just felt terrible that I couldn't support her properly.

My big girl ready for her exams on Monday xx

Getting an illness at any time is horrible, especially when you have kids to look after but this time has just felt extra pressured due to the short time I have left to complete all my uni work. I've really found this past week so tough and again it has made me question why I have put myself through this in the first place. But that's just the negative part of me coming out due to feeling down at the moment.

I'm hoping over the next couple of days I feel better because, oh yeah I forgot to mention, I also have  Isla-Rose's christening on Saturday! I'm not organised for it at all as I should have got loads of things for it last weekend but the illness scuppered my plans! Can I just run away now please?! I really am a glutten for punishment. I mean who even thinks that this would be an ideal time in the semester to book a christening for?! I don't know what goes through my head at times. Say a wee prayer for me guys! Lol.

Emma xxxx