Life as a Mum and Student; the good, the bad and the downright ugly!

So yesterday I went for a Graduate Assessment interview with a company that I've been keen to work with for a while and maybe you can guess from the title, but today I got a phone call to say that I got the job!!!!!!!!

Girls are happy mum got the job!!

Right now I am in such a little bubble, I cannot believe that they gave it to me because, let me tell you, I really did think I bombed it yesterday! I've had a horrendous time since Saturday, as I ended up in hospital due to a bad sinus infection, where the whole left side of my face had swollen up and it felt like someone was continually punching me in the face. It really wasn't good. I was given antibiotics, but couldn't believe this could happen to me 3 days before the most important interview of my life!! 

Anyway, when I woke up yesterday I still felt awful but there was no way I was cancelling this interview, it was too important and my family's future depended on this (no pressure then!!)

The Graduate Assessment consisted of 4 parts; firstly I had an hour long competency based interview, which I felt was the most positive part of my day as I had tried to study a number of examples I could give, prior to the interview. However, the last 2 questions were not ones that I could have studied for and didn't have a clue what to answer! I had that sinking feeling in my stomach that from here on in the day was just going to get worse.

Secondly I had 60minutes to read through a scenario which included 4 pages of data which I had to analyse, in order to come to a conclusion. This for me was by far the worst task of the day. Analysis is normally my strength, but the fact I was under so much pressure, and of course still not feeling well, meant that my head really didn't feel like it was taking in any information and I continually doubted myself the whole way throughout it, which was a horrible feeling. My legs were also constantly shaking throughout due to nerves.

This analysis led on to the third part of the day which was a presentation to the panel on my findings from my analysis. Doing the usual Emma thing, I literally opened my mouth and let my words spill out. I was allocated a 15 minute slot and finished my presentation within 5 minutes due to talking so fast! God it felt so horrible! The panel were so nice though and when they asked me questions I began to relax slightly, they really weren't as scary as I thought they would be! I was finished my presentation before any other candidate, so at that moment I felt for sure I had bombed it.

After lunch, the final assessment was a group exercise, where I had to work alongside the other candidates to come to a decision based on a scenario we were given. I did feel this was a good exercise but then I started to over think and didn't know if I was speaking too much or not speaking enough. It's really hard to know what an employer is looking for. I didn't want to appear over bearing but I didn't want them thinking I couldn't hold my own either! So much to think about, no one warns you of this!

Needless to say at the end of this day I was completely drained, emotional and my brain felt like mush. I was so glad that it was over! I can't believe how much you have to go through to try and get a graduate job, but I also do understand that these companies are going to be investing a massive amount in you over 2 years, so it is in their interest to get the best people!

A massive positive of the day however, was meeting the other candidates, there was such a variety of people from different countries and backgrounds and it was so interesting to hear all their stories. Also rather daunting too though as they all seemed way more interesting than myself and far more intellectual! They were a really nice bunch and I had the thought in my head that I wouldn't mind losing out to any of them as they were all lovely!

But the shocker of a phone call came today to say that I had been successful! I burst into tears on the phone, soooo embarrasing, I really need to get myself together haha! This means so much to me and my family though, I had so much riding on this as it's been a tough 4 years which has put all our lives on hold.

I could not be more thankful for this opportunity, it hasn't quite sunk in yet but I am absolutely over the moon! I still have a lot to do over the next few months and don't start until September

Emma xxxx

It's 4 hours out the day (and money out my bank) which I can't really afford but since I had roots like a tree, I thought I better go and get it sorted. Better try and make a good first impression I suppose, they do say they always count, don't they? ! I decided to go for a wee ombré number for a change.

I don't ever have time (or money) to pamper myself these days, so even although the usual guilt that I could be doing something else was kicking in, it was nice to be treated like a princess for a few hours.

Cerys went away to school in her Dorothy outfit this morning, looking great I might add! What an effort those types of mornings are though! I'm used to Cerys just having a quick ponytail in for school but this morning, in true Dorothy style, I had to do French pleats with the ends all curled. Thank god that's not an every day occurrence, too much stress for me thanks very much! I really envy these mums who have time to send their kids out to school like they've just stepped out a salon. I'm forever chasing my tail!

This weekend will unfortunately have to be dedicated to my presentation next week and of course my interview, so I have my hair all done with no where to go :-( boohoo! Nights out for me are a real thing of the past at the moment due to time and money constraints (AGAIN!) I really can't wait to be able to let my hair down and start getting nights out on the tiles with Mark and my friends again. These past 4 years have been a long slog and I've turned into a hermit while I've been a student. Surely that's the complete opposite of what a student is supposed to be though?!?! I really am not your stereotypical student, but I suppose with kids, no one would expect me to be!

I often wonder what it would have been like to go to uni straight after school before kids and responsibilities, but to be honest I don't think I would have been able to cope and the party lifestyle would have probably swept me up!

I'm glad I waited to be a mature student before going to uni, even although it's been hard because I do have lots of responsibilities, I know that I've been able to apply myself better as I have family to work hard for and plenty of support around me!

Emma xxxx

So, I've not been blogging for the past couple of days as my schedule had been so busy and I really feel like I've been meeting myself coming back!

We had some great news two nights ago though, my best friend Paula gave birth to this wee handsome man. Meet my GODSON Austin!! Yes I'm saying Godson as I am so honoured to have been asked to be this wee ones Godmother, how lucky am I?!?!  Paula asked me the night he was born and of course I accepted! I am absolutely delighted and over the moon about this! Tuesday had been another one of those days where I felt really stressed, anxious and annoyed and I was getting really emotional over things. So when this happened it was like a little ray of sunshine peeking through. Needless to say the waterworks started with me again, only this time it was happy tears! I've turned into such a blubbering wreck since I've had Isla-Rose, I really need to calm down!

Anyway, aside from this great news, I've been running around like a headless chicken trying to get loads of different things organised. Cerys has to dress up in school tomorrow for World Book Day (yes I'm aware it's a week late, but that's a story for a different day!) So between Tuesday and Wednesday I've been trying to organise something for her to wear, which really is a job in itself!

I wish I was one of those mums who can whip something out the wardrobe, stick it under a sewing machine and create a masterpiece, but no, unfortunately the bank card has to come out and shopping on Amazon we go, desperately trying to find something that has next day delivery, because in typical Emma fashion I've left it to the last minute AGAIN! Anyway, due to the wonders of the Internet it has arrived today, yaayy, so Cerys will get to go as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz rather than attempting some creation with a black bin bag lol!

Today I've had to sit and try and make red ruby slippers for Cerys' costume. The actual sparkly red numbers were way too expensive, so I bought a pair of flat red pumps for £7 from New Look and bought red glitter and prit-stick and attempted makeshift shoes. I'd say my attempt was not too bad, and cost less than £10, woohoo!

So in between all this I've been working and trying to study. Next week could play a pivotal part in my life as I have an interview on Tuesday which is a full day assessment for a Graduate position. The closer it gets the more my belly aches and I have so much material to study. The following day I also have a presentation on my Honours project so far, which is a 15 minute talk on my progress. This scares the hell out of me as I'm not one for presenting. I'm also worried as I haven't received all my feedback from my primary research yet so I may not have anything to even present on.

I have Cerys' parents evening tonight at school AND it's the last appointment in the whole night, so this is another night we are out the house and my studying is disrupted. It's always the same when I have so much to do! 

If only I was a FAIRY Godmother, I'd wave my wand and have it done in a jiffy!

Emma xxxx

What a strange couple of days it's been. There has certainly been a major mix of emotions over the weekend. 

So firstly, I've not been very well over the weekend, suffering from fluey type symptoms. It's been one of those weekends I've felt really sorry for myself and have had many emotional breakdowns. I always feel so emotionally unstable when I'm unwell, lol it's quite funny actually! Mark thinks I'm such a drama queen at times but I really cannot afford to be unwell just now, there's just too much to be done! So Saturday afternoon I spent in my jammies feeling rather sorry for myself, doing dissertation work.

A spinning plate which Cerys made me xx

Yesterday I woke up to a beautiful bunch of flowers and some home made goodies from my 2 girls for Mother's Day. This was fab and made me feel much better getting so much love from my girls. I had a few things to do in the afternoon and rushed around getting them done, thinking that I was beginning to feel better. But oh no, life had other plans ofcourse and all of a sudden I felt so ill again, I took a slump and the flu had hit me again, which felt twice as hard this time! 

Beautiful flowers, card and picture from my girls xx

We were going to Mark's mums for dinner but an hour before we went, Mark gave Isla-Rose tomato soup, who subsequently decided to rub her hands in it and get it all over her face, hair and brand new outfit!! So it was stripped, bath and new outfit on, grrr! 

Messy monster covered in Tomato Soup!!!!!

We had a quick, but lovely dinner at Mark's mums house and I had to give my apologies and leave. Then it was back home where I was in my bed for 7.30pm! I've got to say, it's been a very long time since I had done that. 

To make matters worse, I had a 4 hours assessment in university this morning which I was supposed to have studied hard for over the weekend, but I only managed 2 hours last night when I was in bed and even then I didn't retain any information, my head was thumping and my nose was running like a tap. 

Then this morning, Mark only went and put his back out! You really couldn't write this stuff. He literally bent down to pick something up and when he stood back up, craacckkk, his back just went, so now he can hardly move and when he does he looks like John Wayne! So the great help that he normally is, has all but disappeared, poor soul! 

After all this, my 4 hour assessment was absolutely horrendous , I really didn't feel like I knew what was going on and all I could think about was my PJs and my bed. 

When I finished, I came out to the sad news from my mum that her wee cat, Cleo had to be put to sleep this morning. I was so sad hearing this as we have had the cat since I was 10, so she had been a lifelong family pet! I know how sad my mum is and it's just a horrible thing to happen. Pets are definitely like children in the family. Seriously, could this day be any worse?! 

Me with Cleo the Cat when I was 10 xx

On a much more happier, positive note though, I have just had word that my best friend has been taken in to have her baby! I am so glad to be having a new wee addition to our group,  so hopefully the baby is born before midnight and we can turn a pretty terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day into a joyful, happy one! 

Emma xxxx