Life as a Mum and Student; the good, the bad and the downright ugly!

What a strange couple of days it's been. There has certainly been a major mix of emotions over the weekend. 

So firstly, I've not been very well over the weekend, suffering from fluey type symptoms. It's been one of those weekends I've felt really sorry for myself and have had many emotional breakdowns. I always feel so emotionally unstable when I'm unwell, lol it's quite funny actually! Mark thinks I'm such a drama queen at times but I really cannot afford to be unwell just now, there's just too much to be done! So Saturday afternoon I spent in my jammies feeling rather sorry for myself, doing dissertation work.

A spinning plate which Cerys made me xx

Yesterday I woke up to a beautiful bunch of flowers and some home made goodies from my 2 girls for Mother's Day. This was fab and made me feel much better getting so much love from my girls. I had a few things to do in the afternoon and rushed around getting them done, thinking that I was beginning to feel better. But oh no, life had other plans ofcourse and all of a sudden I felt so ill again, I took a slump and the flu had hit me again, which felt twice as hard this time! 

Beautiful flowers, card and picture from my girls xx

We were going to Mark's mums for dinner but an hour before we went, Mark gave Isla-Rose tomato soup, who subsequently decided to rub her hands in it and get it all over her face, hair and brand new outfit!! So it was stripped, bath and new outfit on, grrr! 

Messy monster covered in Tomato Soup!!!!!

We had a quick, but lovely dinner at Mark's mums house and I had to give my apologies and leave. Then it was back home where I was in my bed for 7.30pm! I've got to say, it's been a very long time since I had done that. 

To make matters worse, I had a 4 hours assessment in university this morning which I was supposed to have studied hard for over the weekend, but I only managed 2 hours last night when I was in bed and even then I didn't retain any information, my head was thumping and my nose was running like a tap. 

Then this morning, Mark only went and put his back out! You really couldn't write this stuff. He literally bent down to pick something up and when he stood back up, craacckkk, his back just went, so now he can hardly move and when he does he looks like John Wayne! So the great help that he normally is, has all but disappeared, poor soul! 

After all this, my 4 hour assessment was absolutely horrendous , I really didn't feel like I knew what was going on and all I could think about was my PJs and my bed. 

When I finished, I came out to the sad news from my mum that her wee cat, Cleo had to be put to sleep this morning. I was so sad hearing this as we have had the cat since I was 10, so she had been a lifelong family pet! I know how sad my mum is and it's just a horrible thing to happen. Pets are definitely like children in the family. Seriously, could this day be any worse?! 

Me with Cleo the Cat when I was 10 xx

On a much more happier, positive note though, I have just had word that my best friend has been taken in to have her baby! I am so glad to be having a new wee addition to our group,  so hopefully the baby is born before midnight and we can turn a pretty terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day into a joyful, happy one! 

Emma xxxx

Mark filmed this wee terror 3 nights ago climbing up on the sofa, on to the window ledge and opening the window! I had been out collecting Cerys from dancing and when he showed me the video on our return. my heart was in my mouth! 

Now, it's not that Isla-Rose was in any danger this time as Mark was there the whole time, however it could have been much worse. There is roughly an 8ft drop from that window on to our decking in the garden so she would have certainly seriously hurt herself!

Today, Isla- Rose fell asleep on the couch and while she was sleeping I went through to fold some washing and tidy up before getting my study material out. The next minute I heard "Dada, Dada, Dada" and realised Isla-Rose had woken up. 

When I got to the living-room, imagine my shock when I found her standing on that infamous window ledge!!! Now her new party trick obviously! I honestly got such a fright, and was so thankful that she had shouted. Any longer she could have fell from there and hit the table or floor. Luckily this time we had locked the windows, but the thought of the possibilities of something happening is horrible!

It's this stage of childhood which I feel is the most tiresome and hard to concentrate. I was going to say worrying aswell but I reckon the majority of that comes in the teenage years! Isla-Rose hasn't even hit the "terrible twos" stage yet and shes already into everything and causing havoc! 

You really do need eyes on the back of your head

Emma xxx

So, I couldn't do a blog about being a mum at university without mentioning the people that have played an integral part of my journey. I really could not do everything I do without two very special people; my Mum and Mark's Mum, yip it's the grannies! We really are blessed to have mums who have good health and are able to watch our girls for us.

I would never have been able to do this journey through university if it wasn't for them, it has meant we don't need to pay for childcare and I know my kids are happy when having granny time.

I salute all you parents who need to pay for child care, it's awful that some people can't work because childcare is more money than their earnings are! Isla-Rose was 2 weeks when I went back to uni and these two very special people stood up to the plate and looked after wee bubs for 3 days a week, sometimes more when I had to study at home.

I understand many people don't have the luxury that we have of having two available family members to watch their children and this can be the make it or break it decision for parents thinking of returning to study or even going to work full time. Being at uni, it isn't just the time spent physically at uni, but it's the time required to study out with.

Each module you take at uni states 200 hours of self study is required over a 12 week period, out with your days in university, that's 16.5hours a week per module. Now, you have 3 modules a term so that works out at around 49hours per week for study alone, then there is the physical time you are in uni and of course any part time work you may have, which for me is an additional 17hours. You're really talking in excess of 72 hours per week! And of course not getting paid for any of it!  Breaking it down like this has given me the realisation of the effort that is required throughout the time at uni and the time that is spent away from my girls.

This is why my super sitters are so very special to us, I would never have been able to do this journey without them, especially then falling pregnant during my studies. It was a full family decision that had to be made about whether I could return or not. Luckily they were happy to do this and I've been fortunate to be able to carry on my studies.

I've found that through my years at uni, the hardest part is the weekend and choosing whether to study or spend time with the family. It is difficult because in the long term it's a small sacrifice I will have made to better my family but sometimes I feel so guilty if I've not spent enough time with the family and Mark can give me that glaring look as if to say "I will throw that laptop out the window if you don't stop looking at it!"

Being at university can definitely put a strain on your relationship at times as the normal day to day stresses can be heightened as there just isn't enough time in the day to do everything. It can be hard as I know while I'm at uni the house is always that bit messier and quality time spent with the family decreases. I suppose it's about making that extra effort when there is extra time.

Today I chose to spend time with the family, even although I really should be working. It was such a beautiful, sunny day in Scotland today which are so few and far between that I just had to take the opportunity to enjoy it.

We went a lovely drive to Loch Lomond Shores in Balloch, and as you can see from the pictures, it was absolutely beautiful. We ended the day with a lovely fish tea from one of my favourite places, Palombo's Fish and Chip shop in Balloch, which I'm sure has done nothing for the baby belly but oh my it was lovely!

So even although I'm sitting here feeling guilty for not doing the work I could have done today, I know that these are opportunities I can't get back with my family. So, Family Time 1 - Studying 0 today I'm afraid.

So yeah, apparently a messy baby is a happy baby, but it certainly doesn't make a happy mummy!

This was the mess that my little monster left for me today! She decided to ransack her big sister's cupboard while I was downstairs doing some university work. I honestly could have cried when I saw it!

This kind of thing is a regular occurrence in this household, however that certainly doesn't make it any easier. I had been trying to spend a wee half hour trying to study but this was totally scuppered when I saw this! Her big sis had supposed to be looking after her but she ended up with the music on dancing. Stress, stress, stress!

I also bought this little lady's christening dress today. It's so beautiful and can't wait to see her in it on her big day but that shopping trip wasn't without drama either. I realised when I turned up at the shopping centre that I had forgot her pram so had to carry and occasionally walk with an 18month year old, which, for any of you mum's out there, you will know is a hell on earth experience! Between pulling clothes off the rails and running into every second person, it certainly was eventful. To top it off I had also forgotten the pram bag, so yeah I had no nappies, no wipes, no nothing! By the end of the trip she had a nappy that had swollen to the size of a beach ball and looked like it was about to burst. Needless to say the shopping trip was cut short and homeward bound for us it was! I really don't know where my head was at today!!

So I've been trying to blog every day since I set this up, to keep the content relevant and up to date. However last night I took some time out and had a lovely meal with the family in a new restaurant called "The Old Plane Tree". It is one of these restaurants which have all their main meals on a 2 for 1 deal, so it was ideal for our wee family. I had this gorgeous calzone pizza and the girls enjoyed their dinner too, as you can see!

I thought the rest of the night was going to be nice and relaxed, however I was wrong. 

I had been persuaded (basically torn apart) by my lecturer yesterday to create a more professional looking blog, I decided he was right and uploaded a new template to try and make my blog better looking.

What a disaster it turned out to be though! This blogging millarky certainly isn't straight forward. Big up to all you bloggers out there who do this every day! I'm a computing student and still found the manipulation of the code really hard! When one element of the page looked nice, another looked horribly wrong. It's sooo time consuming.

I thought this Digital Marketing module was going to be ALOT more straight forward than it actually is. Turns out this is taking up more time than my disseration!! Time is definitely my enemy here but I also think I'm slightly obsessive when it comes to uni work. Last night I kept telling Mark, "I'll be done in 2 minutes", fast forward 5 hours later and I was still sitting staring at my screen. 

I do this alot, and while it's OK to always strive for perfection, I really need to realise I'm never going to get there! Nothing's ever perfect so I really need to stop being so hard on myself and stop getting so frustrated when things aren't going exactly to plan. 

Hope you guys like the layout of my blog so far, it is still a work in progress though!

Emma xxxx

Being a mum completely changes you, your life isn't your own any more, you don't think as you used to, you don't eat like you used to, you don't go out like you used to and your body develops extra squishy bits that were never there before, but honestly.......... I wouldn't change it for the world!

To have these wee creations who are totally dependent on you is a bit mind blowing. Everything you do, they copy, everything you say, they copy so I feel it is so important to be a good role model for my kids.

I remember watching this video that my friend sent to me when I was pregnant with Isla-Rose and it just made so much sense. 

Even when my babies were still in my tummy, they were experiencing EVERYTHING that I was experiencing, living and breathing every moment with me. It's amazing to think of the journey they go along before they even come into this world.

My girls are my life. I love Cerys being the age she is as she's starting to develop some independence and be able to think for herself, but isn't too old yet for mummy to still tuck her up in bed at night.  Having 8 years between my girls has been a blessing as I now get to re-live all the crazy baby years with Isla-Rose while enjoying Cerys' next stage in life.

Even if I do get moments where I haven't washed my hair in 5 days, have dirty nappies coming out my ears and I'm getting back chat from the bigger one who's independence is just stretching a little too far, it's all worth it.

Being a mum is what I'm meant to be and whilst I am about to graduate and become a "career woman", no matter what,  my babies and family will always come first. I can't wait to stand in my graduation gown and be presented with my graduation certificate and look down at those faces and know it's all been worth it!

Emma xxxx