Life as a Mum and Student; the good, the bad and the downright ugly!

Unfortunately these days the only books I'm reading are technology textbooks and research material but I cannot wait to have time again to have some me time and do some reading. It's when I feel the most relaxed and can just slip into another wee world for a short time. Right now if I get a chance to read, it's after midnight and I literally get two pages in and I'm snoozing!

Not only am I an avid reader but so is Cerys, who is the biggest Harry Potter fan, just like her mummy. Yip this is a Harry Potter obsessed household! I've read the series 3 times and Cerys, at the age of 9 has finished all 7 books! We were so excited to find out that a new book will be coming out and we are counting down the days until it's release! I love that we have this in common and I'm hoping Isla-Rose is the same when she grows up.

I'm so happy that Cerys loves reading, in this day and age it can be so hard to keep the kids off of technology. I'm just so glad she would rather still pick up a good book than the iPad! Mind you, the only time Cerys has peace to read is in her bed as Isla-Rose is constantly trying to pull the book from her hands!

I've started reading to Isla-Rose and she is so interested in books already which I'm so happy about as I think it is so important to help their learning.

The only one we need to turn in this household is Mark, he is obsessed with the Harry Potter films but has not yet read any of the books (blasphemy in my eyes!) we'll work our magic on him yet though!

I've promised Cerys that when I graduate and hopefully get a good job  that we will save up and go a big family holiday to Florida. Most young kids would be most excited at the prospect of Disneyland, however Cerys is most excited to go to Harry Potter World, and to be honest so is mummy!!

This is a huge dream of our family and once I get a job I will save my wee ass off to get us there!! They've put up with my studies for 4 years so it's the least I could do!

Emma xxxx

I want to get back to this, I want a toned tummy again! This picture was taken nearly 3 years ago, pre baby number 2. I was coming to the end of my first year at uni and life felt like a breeze (even though I remember thinking it was soooo stressful, oh how wrong I was!!)

I remember being able to come home early from uni and fit a run in before picking Cerys up from school, or when Cerys was at her clubs at night time I'd get a run in then. Back then I also had the motivation to do work outs in the house when I couldn't get out running. 

10 months after the above picture was taken I fell pregnant with my wee bubs and my body has never felt the same since. I know this is normal and it can take a long time to get back in shape but I'm missing having the time to even try. Now it's rushing home from uni to pick up Isla-Rose and cram in some studying before making dinner, taking and picking Cerys up from dance class, putting Isla-Rose to bed and then cramming in some more studying.

After having Isla-Rose, I lost my baby weight pretty quickly which was great and to be honest the weight thing has never been a major issue for me. The issue has always been the toning and shaping that all my exercise done for me. 

Since I started my final year especially, I just have not had a minute to even think about a training regime, but I can feel my baby pouch that I had lost, creeping back slowly but surely (thank god for tights in the winter) and my usual jeans are just becoming that wee bit too snug around the butt and thigh area! I've heard ALOT of people can put on weight when they enter their final year at uni because there is simply no time to do anything

I know for a lot of people it isn't important, and it is waaay down the priority list for me at the moment, but not only did exercising make me feel great physically, I felt mentally more prepared and focused. I really am missing this side. And no matter how many times you hear "aww you look great!", I still know where all my extra squishy bits are and which bits jiggle a lot more than they should!

I know now I'll probably never get back to the shape I was in in the top picture but I'm looking forward to graduating and summer coming so that I can get into a routine before I start working full time and it all goes upside down again!

Emma xxxx

So tonight I started to finally try and promote my blog which felt really scary and embarrassing! All of a sudden I realised that people I know are going to start reading this and I'm beginning to wish I had blogged about something a little less personal! I start thinking that I'll probably get laughed at and panic that people will think I'm really cringey for doing this. I find I often think like this at different times, seeing the more negative side rather than just embracing the situation.

In lectures I can be scared to shout out an answer incase I'm wrong and feel stupid so I'd prefer not to say anything, even when a lot of the time I knew the correct answer right enough! I'm OK in a smaller setting but when it comes to a large group I can get so embarrassed at times!

I have two interviews coming up over the next three weeks for big companies and rather than embracing that I've even got this far, I talk myself out of it and think the worst "what if they don't like me? "what if I say something really stupid? " I bet I'll embarrass myself in some way". Why don't I think "Emma you'll be great, you've come this far"? It can be really draining sometimes being so hard on myself! I know that I can do things and have accomplished a lot while being at uni the past 4 years but there's still a nagging thing in the back of my mind holding me back!

 I really need to start embracing that I've come this far and that actually, yeah I'm doing alright! I've  managed to get this far in life so far, doing alright. My grades are good, I'm getting interviews and I have a happy, healthy family, so why not be confident?

Sometimes I think it can be so hard to be confident because there are always people there waiting for you to fall, but on the other hand, I look at the people who are waiting to will you on and want you to do good. Just tonight I posted my blog on Facebook for the first time and although I was embarrassed, the positive feedback I've got from people wishing me well, even those that I don't know, has been amazing! I think we definitely need to promote that positivity more and make people more confident in the decisions they take, whether it's in something as big as an interview or someone who's willing to bare all on Social Media! We need to be good role models for all our children.

Id like to thank everyone who's wished me well tonight, you've given me an extra boost of confidence which I didn't think I had! I really need to start believing in myself, other people can, so why cant I?