Life as a Mum and Student; the good, the bad and the downright ugly!

So it's been a busy few days being a mum and student for me. On Tuesday I was working all day and then had to rush home to get Cerys organised for a Dance Competition she was taking part in which was for all the school's in the district. I had 20 minutes to get in the house, do funky hair and makeup on Cerys and try and shovel some dinner down. Mark was unfortunately away for an overnight stay for work so wasn't there to help. I never even had time to change out my work outfit or even have a wash (how lovely). Mark's dad helped out with lifts which was a lifesaver as I'd have never got to the competition myself without a car! 

The competition itself was great and I was really proud of Cerys and her school friends. They came 2nd in the competition which was an amazing achievement and Cerys was so happy to get her medal.

Isla-Rose's gran watched her this night as we weren't going to get home until 10pm, so that was waaayyy past her bed time. Once I had settled Cerys in bed at 10.30pm that night, I then had to begin studying for a university presentation which I had the next morning. That really was a struggle, trying to apply my brain after a 9hour shift at work and a further 3 hour dance competition! When I was running over my presentation I was talking a load of gobbledygook and just couldn't concentrate. I eventually stopped working on it at 1am and went to bed to try and get some sleep for the next day.

Yesterday morning I had my presentation, I was so nervous and my stomach was flipping so much that I genuinely thought I was going to vomit! I absolutely hate presentations as I hate that "all eyes on you" feeling. I get so self conscious and start to stumble my words. My favourite words are definitely "eh" and "em" when I'm presenting. Bleugh, I just hate it! I got through it though which was good, although I was only allocated 15minutes to talk and I think I talked for 25minutes! Haha. 

After my presentation I had to head to work. I really couldn't concentrate the full day though as my head was mush from the presentation and I hadn't slept much the night before. I had to work on an extra hour and felt so guilty as by this point I hadn't seen Isla-Rose for over 24hours. Her granny must have been shattered having her for all that time. She has also been ill again the past few days with heavy cold symptoms, so she's certainly not been in the best of moods the past few days. I had to collect Isla-Rose then pick Cerys up from dance class so I eventually got in at 7pm and I was then tasked with decorating an Easter Bonnet for an Easter Parade Cerys had the next day in school!! OH MY! That was just the end of me. 

In amongst trying to decorate the Easter bonnet, Isla-Rose proceeded to keep climbing on to our coffee table and have a wee dance (check out the vid). Where did I get this girl? Haha!

We've got a climber! from Emma Knox on Vimeo.

It took over 3 hours to complete and I eventually finished it at 10.45pm, once Cerys was in bed I might add! 

I still had uni work to then try and do but there was no way that was getting completed! My head was bursting and I just wanted my bed. The kids always come first, but it really is hard to try and get any of my own work completed in amongst all these things.

I did get some good news today that I got 82% for my presentation, which was a great wee boost to hear this. There's still loads to do though and only 5 weeks left! So much to do, so little time!

Emma xxxx

It's 4 hours out the day (and money out my bank) which I can't really afford but since I had roots like a tree, I thought I better go and get it sorted. Better try and make a good first impression I suppose, they do say they always count, don't they? ! I decided to go for a wee ombré number for a change.

I don't ever have time (or money) to pamper myself these days, so even although the usual guilt that I could be doing something else was kicking in, it was nice to be treated like a princess for a few hours.

Cerys went away to school in her Dorothy outfit this morning, looking great I might add! What an effort those types of mornings are though! I'm used to Cerys just having a quick ponytail in for school but this morning, in true Dorothy style, I had to do French pleats with the ends all curled. Thank god that's not an every day occurrence, too much stress for me thanks very much! I really envy these mums who have time to send their kids out to school like they've just stepped out a salon. I'm forever chasing my tail!

This weekend will unfortunately have to be dedicated to my presentation next week and of course my interview, so I have my hair all done with no where to go :-( boohoo! Nights out for me are a real thing of the past at the moment due to time and money constraints (AGAIN!) I really can't wait to be able to let my hair down and start getting nights out on the tiles with Mark and my friends again. These past 4 years have been a long slog and I've turned into a hermit while I've been a student. Surely that's the complete opposite of what a student is supposed to be though?!?! I really am not your stereotypical student, but I suppose with kids, no one would expect me to be!

I often wonder what it would have been like to go to uni straight after school before kids and responsibilities, but to be honest I don't think I would have been able to cope and the party lifestyle would have probably swept me up!

I'm glad I waited to be a mature student before going to uni, even although it's been hard because I do have lots of responsibilities, I know that I've been able to apply myself better as I have family to work hard for and plenty of support around me!

Emma xxxx

So I've been trying to blog every day since I set this up, to keep the content relevant and up to date. However last night I took some time out and had a lovely meal with the family in a new restaurant called "The Old Plane Tree". It is one of these restaurants which have all their main meals on a 2 for 1 deal, so it was ideal for our wee family. I had this gorgeous calzone pizza and the girls enjoyed their dinner too, as you can see!

I thought the rest of the night was going to be nice and relaxed, however I was wrong. 

I had been persuaded (basically torn apart) by my lecturer yesterday to create a more professional looking blog, I decided he was right and uploaded a new template to try and make my blog better looking.

What a disaster it turned out to be though! This blogging millarky certainly isn't straight forward. Big up to all you bloggers out there who do this every day! I'm a computing student and still found the manipulation of the code really hard! When one element of the page looked nice, another looked horribly wrong. It's sooo time consuming.

I thought this Digital Marketing module was going to be ALOT more straight forward than it actually is. Turns out this is taking up more time than my disseration!! Time is definitely my enemy here but I also think I'm slightly obsessive when it comes to uni work. Last night I kept telling Mark, "I'll be done in 2 minutes", fast forward 5 hours later and I was still sitting staring at my screen. 

I do this alot, and while it's OK to always strive for perfection, I really need to realise I'm never going to get there! Nothing's ever perfect so I really need to stop being so hard on myself and stop getting so frustrated when things aren't going exactly to plan. 

Hope you guys like the layout of my blog so far, it is still a work in progress though!

Emma xxxx

Being a mum completely changes you, your life isn't your own any more, you don't think as you used to, you don't eat like you used to, you don't go out like you used to and your body develops extra squishy bits that were never there before, but honestly.......... I wouldn't change it for the world!

To have these wee creations who are totally dependent on you is a bit mind blowing. Everything you do, they copy, everything you say, they copy so I feel it is so important to be a good role model for my kids.

I remember watching this video that my friend sent to me when I was pregnant with Isla-Rose and it just made so much sense. 

Even when my babies were still in my tummy, they were experiencing EVERYTHING that I was experiencing, living and breathing every moment with me. It's amazing to think of the journey they go along before they even come into this world.

My girls are my life. I love Cerys being the age she is as she's starting to develop some independence and be able to think for herself, but isn't too old yet for mummy to still tuck her up in bed at night.  Having 8 years between my girls has been a blessing as I now get to re-live all the crazy baby years with Isla-Rose while enjoying Cerys' next stage in life.

Even if I do get moments where I haven't washed my hair in 5 days, have dirty nappies coming out my ears and I'm getting back chat from the bigger one who's independence is just stretching a little too far, it's all worth it.

Being a mum is what I'm meant to be and whilst I am about to graduate and become a "career woman", no matter what,  my babies and family will always come first. I can't wait to stand in my graduation gown and be presented with my graduation certificate and look down at those faces and know it's all been worth it!

Emma xxxx

Evening everyone,

It's been a really long day today. I did my 9 hour shift at work and then had to go and pick up Isla-Rose from my mums. Cerys goes to ballet class on a Wednesday so she is already there by the time I finish work. Once I get Isla-Rose I have to rush home to make dinner for myself and Mark as he runs a boxing club on a Monday and Wednesday night. 

I only eat half of my dinner and then realise I'm late to pick up Cerys from her dance class so I quickly rush down to get her. Mark and I end up like passing ships because as we come in the door from dance class, Mark has to run out to boxing. We only have the one car between us at the moment, which can be a real pain at times but as we really cannot afford another one just now we just have to make do with splitting it between us. This seems to be life for us right now, running around like headless chickens, constantly chasing our tails but then doesn't every family?