Life as a Mum and Student; the good, the bad and the downright ugly!

So it's been a busy few days being a mum and student for me. On Tuesday I was working all day and then had to rush home to get Cerys organised for a Dance Competition she was taking part in which was for all the school's in the district. I had 20 minutes to get in the house, do funky hair and makeup on Cerys and try and shovel some dinner down. Mark was unfortunately away for an overnight stay for work so wasn't there to help. I never even had time to change out my work outfit or even have a wash (how lovely). Mark's dad helped out with lifts which was a lifesaver as I'd have never got to the competition myself without a car! 

The competition itself was great and I was really proud of Cerys and her school friends. They came 2nd in the competition which was an amazing achievement and Cerys was so happy to get her medal.

Isla-Rose's gran watched her this night as we weren't going to get home until 10pm, so that was waaayyy past her bed time. Once I had settled Cerys in bed at 10.30pm that night, I then had to begin studying for a university presentation which I had the next morning. That really was a struggle, trying to apply my brain after a 9hour shift at work and a further 3 hour dance competition! When I was running over my presentation I was talking a load of gobbledygook and just couldn't concentrate. I eventually stopped working on it at 1am and went to bed to try and get some sleep for the next day.

Yesterday morning I had my presentation, I was so nervous and my stomach was flipping so much that I genuinely thought I was going to vomit! I absolutely hate presentations as I hate that "all eyes on you" feeling. I get so self conscious and start to stumble my words. My favourite words are definitely "eh" and "em" when I'm presenting. Bleugh, I just hate it! I got through it though which was good, although I was only allocated 15minutes to talk and I think I talked for 25minutes! Haha. 

After my presentation I had to head to work. I really couldn't concentrate the full day though as my head was mush from the presentation and I hadn't slept much the night before. I had to work on an extra hour and felt so guilty as by this point I hadn't seen Isla-Rose for over 24hours. Her granny must have been shattered having her for all that time. She has also been ill again the past few days with heavy cold symptoms, so she's certainly not been in the best of moods the past few days. I had to collect Isla-Rose then pick Cerys up from dance class so I eventually got in at 7pm and I was then tasked with decorating an Easter Bonnet for an Easter Parade Cerys had the next day in school!! OH MY! That was just the end of me. 

In amongst trying to decorate the Easter bonnet, Isla-Rose proceeded to keep climbing on to our coffee table and have a wee dance (check out the vid). Where did I get this girl? Haha!

We've got a climber! from Emma Knox on Vimeo.

It took over 3 hours to complete and I eventually finished it at 10.45pm, once Cerys was in bed I might add! 

I still had uni work to then try and do but there was no way that was getting completed! My head was bursting and I just wanted my bed. The kids always come first, but it really is hard to try and get any of my own work completed in amongst all these things.

I did get some good news today that I got 82% for my presentation, which was a great wee boost to hear this. There's still loads to do though and only 5 weeks left! So much to do, so little time!

Emma xxxx

So yeah, apparently a messy baby is a happy baby, but it certainly doesn't make a happy mummy!

This was the mess that my little monster left for me today! She decided to ransack her big sister's cupboard while I was downstairs doing some university work. I honestly could have cried when I saw it!

This kind of thing is a regular occurrence in this household, however that certainly doesn't make it any easier. I had been trying to spend a wee half hour trying to study but this was totally scuppered when I saw this! Her big sis had supposed to be looking after her but she ended up with the music on dancing. Stress, stress, stress!

I also bought this little lady's christening dress today. It's so beautiful and can't wait to see her in it on her big day but that shopping trip wasn't without drama either. I realised when I turned up at the shopping centre that I had forgot her pram so had to carry and occasionally walk with an 18month year old, which, for any of you mum's out there, you will know is a hell on earth experience! Between pulling clothes off the rails and running into every second person, it certainly was eventful. To top it off I had also forgotten the pram bag, so yeah I had no nappies, no wipes, no nothing! By the end of the trip she had a nappy that had swollen to the size of a beach ball and looked like it was about to burst. Needless to say the shopping trip was cut short and homeward bound for us it was! I really don't know where my head was at today!!

It's at this time of year that I normally begin to feel the pressure rise slightly in terms of my uni work. I'm just about to enter week 4 of my final term and it's from here on in that the work normally begins to get really tough and time begins to be my worst enemy.

Weeks 1 - 3 are normally more laid back (even although they shouldn't be) and then week 4 hits and suddenly it's panic stations! 

Today I've been working on my dissertation for around 7 hours, holed up in my bedroom as it's the quietest room in the house. I haven't showered, I'm sitting in my PJs, I've had a packet of crisps and twix for my lunch and I'm typing my life away like there's no tomorrow - a massive amount of krap I might add! These are the days I get really annoyed and frustrated if I get disturbed, hence the reason for not showering or making a meal! When I'm in this room, I normally keep a good train of thought and get really mad if I get interrupted with anything.

I need to make these small sacrifices at weekends at the moment just until I get my work completed. I need to shut myself away in order to not be disturbed. I hate doing it but I know it won't last forever.

I think Mark gets a bit peed off about it at times, like today, once he'd finished his DIY he was asking when I'd be finished and looked disappointed when I couldn't give him a time. I told him to take the girls out if he wanted some time out of the house but unfortunately I was unable to go. I'm aware it's rubbish and it really does suck when I can't join in on family time but this is all for the greater good and it just adds more pressure on to me when I see Mark get annoyed.

I know it can be an additional stress on the family just now and that can make me feel awful and guilty at times but then, at the same time I think "No!" The only reason I've put myself under this stress the past few years is for my family, so that I can provide them with a good life and we can live comfortably, an environment I never really had growing up.

8 weeks tomorrow will be my final week at uni, I honestly cannot believe it. I just need to knuckle down and get through these last 2 months and all will be OK! 

Emma xxxx

Evening everyone,

It's been a really long day today. I did my 9 hour shift at work and then had to go and pick up Isla-Rose from my mums. Cerys goes to ballet class on a Wednesday so she is already there by the time I finish work. Once I get Isla-Rose I have to rush home to make dinner for myself and Mark as he runs a boxing club on a Monday and Wednesday night. 

I only eat half of my dinner and then realise I'm late to pick up Cerys from her dance class so I quickly rush down to get her. Mark and I end up like passing ships because as we come in the door from dance class, Mark has to run out to boxing. We only have the one car between us at the moment, which can be a real pain at times but as we really cannot afford another one just now we just have to make do with splitting it between us. This seems to be life for us right now, running around like headless chickens, constantly chasing our tails but then doesn't every family?

So the above picture is a regular occurrence in my life right now! It's Saturday night, Valentine's weekend and I'm stuck on the couch working on coursework. It's not all bad, I do have this little cherub to keep me occupied but she won't settle for a snooze anywhere but my knee so I have to arrange my laptop and paperwork around her. This is my regular study area, trying to keep baby happy while doing my work.


Daddy and grandpa are watching the rugby and big sis is away for a sleepover so it's just me and this wee one. I've got to say it's nice to have peace and quiet to get on with work, but the minute this wee terror wakes up it's "house wrecking time", the books get pulled from the bookcase, the toys get thrown around and mum's paperwork gets crumpled and torn. This is the life of a student mum I suppose!

I find Saturday's particularly hard to study and it's definitely the time I feel I procrastinate the most, Facebook noseying being a favourite past time of mine :). I find it hard at times to get the motivation at the weekends, especially when I see everyone's pictures out having a good time with family and friends. I keep telling myself it's not long though, 10 weeks and uni will be over! I can't believe how fast 4 years have flown by. That thought still doesn't make it any easier though when you're trying to read 3 of the most boring academic papers for Monday's lecture. Oh the joys!
Emma xxxx