Life as a Mum and Student; the good, the bad and the downright ugly!

So yesterday I went for a Graduate Assessment interview with a company that I've been keen to work with for a while and maybe you can guess from the title, but today I got a phone call to say that I got the job!!!!!!!!

Girls are happy mum got the job!!

Right now I am in such a little bubble, I cannot believe that they gave it to me because, let me tell you, I really did think I bombed it yesterday! I've had a horrendous time since Saturday, as I ended up in hospital due to a bad sinus infection, where the whole left side of my face had swollen up and it felt like someone was continually punching me in the face. It really wasn't good. I was given antibiotics, but couldn't believe this could happen to me 3 days before the most important interview of my life!! 

Anyway, when I woke up yesterday I still felt awful but there was no way I was cancelling this interview, it was too important and my family's future depended on this (no pressure then!!)

The Graduate Assessment consisted of 4 parts; firstly I had an hour long competency based interview, which I felt was the most positive part of my day as I had tried to study a number of examples I could give, prior to the interview. However, the last 2 questions were not ones that I could have studied for and didn't have a clue what to answer! I had that sinking feeling in my stomach that from here on in the day was just going to get worse.

Secondly I had 60minutes to read through a scenario which included 4 pages of data which I had to analyse, in order to come to a conclusion. This for me was by far the worst task of the day. Analysis is normally my strength, but the fact I was under so much pressure, and of course still not feeling well, meant that my head really didn't feel like it was taking in any information and I continually doubted myself the whole way throughout it, which was a horrible feeling. My legs were also constantly shaking throughout due to nerves.

This analysis led on to the third part of the day which was a presentation to the panel on my findings from my analysis. Doing the usual Emma thing, I literally opened my mouth and let my words spill out. I was allocated a 15 minute slot and finished my presentation within 5 minutes due to talking so fast! God it felt so horrible! The panel were so nice though and when they asked me questions I began to relax slightly, they really weren't as scary as I thought they would be! I was finished my presentation before any other candidate, so at that moment I felt for sure I had bombed it.

After lunch, the final assessment was a group exercise, where I had to work alongside the other candidates to come to a decision based on a scenario we were given. I did feel this was a good exercise but then I started to over think and didn't know if I was speaking too much or not speaking enough. It's really hard to know what an employer is looking for. I didn't want to appear over bearing but I didn't want them thinking I couldn't hold my own either! So much to think about, no one warns you of this!

Needless to say at the end of this day I was completely drained, emotional and my brain felt like mush. I was so glad that it was over! I can't believe how much you have to go through to try and get a graduate job, but I also do understand that these companies are going to be investing a massive amount in you over 2 years, so it is in their interest to get the best people!

A massive positive of the day however, was meeting the other candidates, there was such a variety of people from different countries and backgrounds and it was so interesting to hear all their stories. Also rather daunting too though as they all seemed way more interesting than myself and far more intellectual! They were a really nice bunch and I had the thought in my head that I wouldn't mind losing out to any of them as they were all lovely!

But the shocker of a phone call came today to say that I had been successful! I burst into tears on the phone, soooo embarrasing, I really need to get myself together haha! This means so much to me and my family though, I had so much riding on this as it's been a tough 4 years which has put all our lives on hold.

I could not be more thankful for this opportunity, it hasn't quite sunk in yet but I am absolutely over the moon! I still have a lot to do over the next few months and don't start until September

Emma xxxx

So, I've not been blogging for the past couple of days as my schedule had been so busy and I really feel like I've been meeting myself coming back!

We had some great news two nights ago though, my best friend Paula gave birth to this wee handsome man. Meet my GODSON Austin!! Yes I'm saying Godson as I am so honoured to have been asked to be this wee ones Godmother, how lucky am I?!?!  Paula asked me the night he was born and of course I accepted! I am absolutely delighted and over the moon about this! Tuesday had been another one of those days where I felt really stressed, anxious and annoyed and I was getting really emotional over things. So when this happened it was like a little ray of sunshine peeking through. Needless to say the waterworks started with me again, only this time it was happy tears! I've turned into such a blubbering wreck since I've had Isla-Rose, I really need to calm down!

Anyway, aside from this great news, I've been running around like a headless chicken trying to get loads of different things organised. Cerys has to dress up in school tomorrow for World Book Day (yes I'm aware it's a week late, but that's a story for a different day!) So between Tuesday and Wednesday I've been trying to organise something for her to wear, which really is a job in itself!

I wish I was one of those mums who can whip something out the wardrobe, stick it under a sewing machine and create a masterpiece, but no, unfortunately the bank card has to come out and shopping on Amazon we go, desperately trying to find something that has next day delivery, because in typical Emma fashion I've left it to the last minute AGAIN! Anyway, due to the wonders of the Internet it has arrived today, yaayy, so Cerys will get to go as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz rather than attempting some creation with a black bin bag lol!

Today I've had to sit and try and make red ruby slippers for Cerys' costume. The actual sparkly red numbers were way too expensive, so I bought a pair of flat red pumps for £7 from New Look and bought red glitter and prit-stick and attempted makeshift shoes. I'd say my attempt was not too bad, and cost less than £10, woohoo!

So in between all this I've been working and trying to study. Next week could play a pivotal part in my life as I have an interview on Tuesday which is a full day assessment for a Graduate position. The closer it gets the more my belly aches and I have so much material to study. The following day I also have a presentation on my Honours project so far, which is a 15 minute talk on my progress. This scares the hell out of me as I'm not one for presenting. I'm also worried as I haven't received all my feedback from my primary research yet so I may not have anything to even present on.

I have Cerys' parents evening tonight at school AND it's the last appointment in the whole night, so this is another night we are out the house and my studying is disrupted. It's always the same when I have so much to do! 

If only I was a FAIRY Godmother, I'd wave my wand and have it done in a jiffy!

Emma xxxx

So tonight I started to finally try and promote my blog which felt really scary and embarrassing! All of a sudden I realised that people I know are going to start reading this and I'm beginning to wish I had blogged about something a little less personal! I start thinking that I'll probably get laughed at and panic that people will think I'm really cringey for doing this. I find I often think like this at different times, seeing the more negative side rather than just embracing the situation.

In lectures I can be scared to shout out an answer incase I'm wrong and feel stupid so I'd prefer not to say anything, even when a lot of the time I knew the correct answer right enough! I'm OK in a smaller setting but when it comes to a large group I can get so embarrassed at times!

I have two interviews coming up over the next three weeks for big companies and rather than embracing that I've even got this far, I talk myself out of it and think the worst "what if they don't like me? "what if I say something really stupid? " I bet I'll embarrass myself in some way". Why don't I think "Emma you'll be great, you've come this far"? It can be really draining sometimes being so hard on myself! I know that I can do things and have accomplished a lot while being at uni the past 4 years but there's still a nagging thing in the back of my mind holding me back!

 I really need to start embracing that I've come this far and that actually, yeah I'm doing alright! I've  managed to get this far in life so far, doing alright. My grades are good, I'm getting interviews and I have a happy, healthy family, so why not be confident?

Sometimes I think it can be so hard to be confident because there are always people there waiting for you to fall, but on the other hand, I look at the people who are waiting to will you on and want you to do good. Just tonight I posted my blog on Facebook for the first time and although I was embarrassed, the positive feedback I've got from people wishing me well, even those that I don't know, has been amazing! I think we definitely need to promote that positivity more and make people more confident in the decisions they take, whether it's in something as big as an interview or someone who's willing to bare all on Social Media! We need to be good role models for all our children.

Id like to thank everyone who's wished me well tonight, you've given me an extra boost of confidence which I didn't think I had! I really need to start believing in myself, other people can, so why cant I?

So today was a great day! 

I had a telephone interview today with a company I am so enthusiastic to work with. The job is to become a graduate on a 2 year graduate program with one of the leading companies in the technology industry. It went really well and I was told there and then that I had passed and I am now through to the next stage. I'm absolutely over the moon about this!

The interviewer made me feel at ease and it felt like more of a chat than a formal interview which I think is the best thing, as this is when I feel my best qualities come across. When an interview is really formal I always get really nervous and can never sell myself properly, therefore this company's approach to interviewing is perfect for me.

Interviews have always been a bit of a worry for me as I never know whether to mention whether I have kids or not. I always think that companies are always more likely to take the younger, fresher (and childless) graduates over me. But I have learned over time that this is not the case and the fact that I have kids and I am currently at university is actually a plus point for employers as it shows my drive and determination.

I'm really excited about the prospect of working for this company and starting a proper career. Fingers crossed all goes well and these wee faces definitely make all the hard work worth it!

Emma xxxx